It’s all happening this week.
A couple of months ago I was contacted by the host of the very funny Stuart Britton Show which broadcasts on Southhampton HBA. He (as I found out) has been a reader of my blog for some time and after we swapped some amusing stories about the fact that we were both called Stuart he asked if I would be interested in doing a cartoon of the show’s presenters for their website. Of course I answered yes and spent some time working away with photoshop.
As a thank you (and I’m really blown away by this) Stuart had my World Cup posts read professionally on the show by Alan Lambourn from Sky Sports. I cannot thank them enough. The brilliant sounding reading can be heard here…
…or alternatively by clicking here.
Check out the rest of their highly amusing podcasts (and the new cartoon) on
The Stuart Britton Show website
Greetings Telegraph visitors. It is nice to meet you. How are you doing?
My name is Stuart and this is my blog. Here you will find the bizarre but happy story of my life in Holland as an accident prone Englishman, the strange and humours things that seem to happen to me on an almost daily bases and my confused and baffled observations on the Dutch culture and way of life.
Below are just a few of the kinds of stories that you can find here:
An Unexpected Beginning – The story that started it all.
Dye Another Day – How and why I once got my eye lashes dyed.
Lift of Terror – What I did while trapped in a lift for four hours.
I Do – A lovely story about how I got married… for just one day.
Administrative Error – What happens when you forget to get registered in Holland.
Confusing and Baffling – The title says it all.
Train Ticket Criminal – Never forget to buy a train ticket… never!
Putting My Foot in It – How I once mistook some tourists for a group of prostitutes.
For those of you who do not know what I am talking about and might be concerned that I have finally lost the plot I am actually referring to an interview that I was asked to take part in recently about living and working in Holland as an expat. The interview was published today and can be found on the Telegraph website: An Accidental Expat in Amsterdam
4 Years. 216 Posts. 134 Cartoons. 3447 Comments.
Ok. Technically I was not writing for one of those four years but this blog is still four years old and I’ve been living in Holland for nine years. I get a lot of fun out of writing this blog and creating the cartoons for it and it makes me very happy to know that people like you enjoy reading it too. Thank you to all of you, old readers and new.
Why not check out the story that started it all. The tale of how I accidentally and unexpectedly ended up living in Holland: An Unexpected Beginning.
…and some of my other personal favourites:
Dye Another Day – How and why I once got my eye lashes dyed.
Lift of Terror – What I did while trapped in a lift for four hours.
I Do – A lovely story about how I got married… for just one day.
Administrative Error – What happens when you forget to get registered in Holland.
Confusing and Baffling – The title says it all.
Train Ticket Criminal – Never forget to buy a train ticket… never!
Putting My Foot in It – How I once mistook some tourists for a group of prostitutes.
… and many, many more that I can’t all list here.
We are almost a month into 2010 which means a month of intending to start New Year’s resolutions has almost passed us by. So far my reverse psychology plan to get healthy by continuing to eat unhealthy food is progressing slowly but my body is sure to fall for it soon.
One of my other new year’s resolutions was is to write an ‘Invading Holland’ book made out of words and pages, the majority of which would be taken from posts written here on this blog of the same name (which also includes words but not pages). However, I am trying to decide the format in which it should be written. I know I want to re-work things a little rather than do a straight one on one blog to book translation. But how?
Should it be a categorized guide to Holland including witty observations and personal experiences? Should it be a chronological diary of my comical time in the land of tulips and windmills? Should it be a pop-up book with brightly coloured images of waving Dutch men and women? Should I forget the whole book thing and instead translate my tale in to an interpretive dance and tour the country in a leotard? The possibilities are endless (until you reach the end) and I find myself being quite indecisive. That is why I am asking you, the readers and friends who have been so good to me; what do you think I should do? What would be a good idea?
How should it be written? Which previously written stories do you think should really be in there? What un-answered questions and mysteries would you like answered (which I could also answer in post form for quicker replies)? Maybe you have some advice about turning a blog into a book or a large check you would like to give me for doing so. Or maybe you have more general comments, feedback or name calling on this whole blog thing in general so far. I’d like to hear what you think because to be honest I haven’t got a clue.
Thank you.
PS – I should point out that despite its name this book (and blog) will not actually depict any sort of military encroachment upon Dutch soil. I tell you this now to avoid the biggest literacy disappointment since readers of Charles Dickens ‘A Christmas Carol’ discovered that it was not a festive song book full of good musical cheer for the whole family.
Last Friday night my girlfriend and I were sitting in a restaurant in Rotterdam overlooking one of the city’s harbors. This was no ordinary harbor we were enjoying our meal looking at. It was the harbor where VallyP, writer of Luxor lives. Anyone who has visited her blog will be familiar with her stories about life living on the waters of Holland. Both my girlfriend and myself are very familiar with her stories so we decided it would be fun to walk around the harbor to see if we could spot her boat.
We ended up spotting more than her boat because as we wondered around we actually bumped into both VallyP and Koos walking in the other direction. However, I was not completely sure it was them at first since I have only seen them in photos. As we passed each other by I must have done a lot of staring as my internal monologue went something like, “Is that them? Naaa.. Wait. Is it?. Naaa… No wait. It is you know. I think it is them. Is it?”
Of course by the time my brain had come to the conclusion that it most likely was VallyP and Koos they had passed us by so I quickly jogged after them, probably making them wonder why the strange guy who had just been staring after them was now coming at them at speed (since other than my cartoons they had no idea what I looked like).
“Excuse me. This might sound like a strange question but are you VallyP?” I asked.
When someone I don’t know starts asking me questions on the street I always expect them to follow it up with a request for change or the offer of a cheaply priced but rusty bike.
“Yes.” She replied.
“Hello. I’m Stuart” I replied.
Meeting VallyP and Koos was great. They instantly invited us along with them to check out the famous Vereeniging where we also met Mo (VallyP’s daughter). Then we had a cup of tea on the equally famous Luxor and spent a very long enjoyable time chatting about all kinds of stuff. At the end of the night we caught the train home, very happy about our lucky run-in and the plan to meet up again later.
(… and I promise you your own cartoons VallyP and Koos when I have more time. You probably have more of insight into the speed I work at now :p).
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