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The terrifying events of last summer seemed like a distant half forgotten memory but we were too quick to celebrate in our victory. All the time our enemy was regrouping and re-planning as they watched us from the shadows with their hungry eyes. We were too blind to take notice of the early warning signs. When they descended upon us again we were unprepared. We were defenceless. We were fools. The yearly cycle has begun again and the mosquito horde has returned to feast upon us.
The little flying Nosferatu have abandoned the stealth tactics they used last year in favour of physiological warfare. They are no longer content with silently sucking on my blood while I sleep; unaware of the unauthorised blood donation that is taking place. Instead they purposely torment me by trying to use my ear as a landing pad every time I close my eyes. They won’t let me sleep. Sometimes I even think I can hear them laughing evilly as they buzz past.
I am not sure why they have chosen to do this. Either the mental torment makes the blood taste sweeter or they simply like to see me slap myself in the side of the head every time I try in vane to hit them when they land.
Every night I eventually pass out from exhaustion, unless I hit myself in the side of the head hard enough to render myself unconscious first. When I wake up the next morning I have enough bite marks for a thoroughly engrossing game of connect the dots (which I expect one day to reveal a hidden mosquito message).
The mosquitoes have pushed me too far. I am not taking it any more. I am going to take the fight to them using Rambo style tactics and as much bug spray as I can get my hands on. I have already stock piled so many mosquito death devices that it probably won’t be long before the UN is knocking on my door to investigate reports of WMDs on the premises. However, the only WMDs they will find will be Weapons of Mosquito Destruction.
This is my declaration of war on all mosquitoes every where. Let this day be marked in history. We will no longer let their crimes go unpunished. No longer will we allow them to steal our blood. No longer will we put up with annoying itchy bite marks. No longer will we do nothing while their buzzing keeps us awake. Today we stand! Today we fight! Who’s with me?
